


Dememeons, It’s Me, Ya Boy

by Moggiye20



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Memes, Other, Vines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moggiye20/pseuds/Moggiye20
Summary: Venom had been to many planets, feasted on many different types of species but none had come close to how unique the human species were. They were certainly on the right track for better space exploration if they weren’t so busy killing each other or sending cat pictures to their fellow humans.However, the memes had to be the most baffling.





	Dememeons, It’s Me, Ya Boy

**Author's Note:**

> As per the Google Docs Council (y'all know who you are <3 ) I was inspired to write this and hot diggity it was hard getting these memes to fit in so nicely.

Venom had been to many planets, feasted on many different types of species but none had come close to how unique the human species were. They were certainly on the right track for better space exploration if they weren’t so busy killing each other or sending cat pictures to their fellow humans. However, the memes had to be the most baffling. The most technologically advanced species they’d ever met (second to their own of course) wasn’t this strange with their language idioms.

Venom cast a lazy glance at Eddie’s phone when it chirped.  **Dan is calling you, why?**

Eddie paused mid type to grab his phone. “New phone, who dis?” He answered.  **?? His name is the on the display?**

The man on the other line laughed. “Hey, Anne and I are going for lunch near your place, did you want to join us?”

“Sure, at that new Italian bakery that opened up?”

“That’s the one, see you soon?”

“Yep, think they’ll sell fr e sh a voca do?” Eddie asked, a silly smile on his face as he saved his work.

“I hope so. Later, Eddie.” Eddie hung up and pocketed his phone, closing his laptop and getting up to stuff it in his bag.

Venom was brimming with curiosity. His host had never brought up that he wanted this dish before.  **What is a fr e sh a voca do?**

Eddie burst out laughing, which was rather refreshing to hear Venom privately thought. “A shitty sign advertising fresh avocado.” 

This did little to said Venom’s curiosity and only further confused the symbiote.  **You hunger for a sign?**

Eddie struggled to reign in his giggles as he bent over to get his shoes. “Uh, it’s an internet joke, I don’t want to eat signs, V, just food.”

Venom perked up at the mention of food.  **Chocolate?**

“Yeah, I can probably get you some chocolate, big guy.”

Eddie headed off on his bike to the bakery, finding easy parking in the back. Entering, he headed to the glass case and quickly selected several chocolate pastries and a roast beef sandwich with coffee. Paying, he wandered through the semi busy dining area to where Dan and Anne were seated with bags from the nearby grocery store at their feet.

“Eager for lunch?” He teased.

“Starving,” Anne said shamelessly, eagerly digging into her meatball soup.

As Eddie sat down, one of the bags at Anne’s feet tipped over and a bag of chips slipped out. “Hurricane Katrina,” Eddie muttered.

“More like Hurricane Tortilla,” Dan finished, the two men smirking at each other as Anne groaned. 

“You don’t pronounce the L’s, Dan,” Anne grumbled at him. As the three of them chatted, Eddie casually put the pastries in his lap so Venom could sneak out and happily devour them.

“I’m still hungry,” Dan said mournfully, watching Anne finish off the last of her soup. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change. “Damn, I only have sixty nine cents.”

Eddie tipped his coffee in his direction. “You know what that means.” Anne rolled her eyes, fully expecting them to make a dirty joke.

“I don’t have enough for chicken nugget,” Dan said, his bottom lip wobbling.

Anne narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. “Then perish.”

Eddie grinned at Dan. “She’s a keeper, eh?”

Venom was perplexed.  **She demanded he perish, what kind of human mating ritual is this?**

“The best kind,” Eddie muttered as Anne handed Dan a few bills. Dan got up and stood in line.

“So, how long are you going to keep pretending Venom died for you?” Anne asked innocently, sipping her cappuccino.

Eddie winced then seemed to decide, fuck it, and grabbed the last pastry. “No idea what you mean,” he said casually, giving it to Venom. 

The strum of a guitar had both of them looking over as Dan suddenly approached. Eddie blinked, confused as to where the man had gotten a freaking guitar from. “Wha—“

“I love you bitch,” he said, “I ain’t never gonna stop loving you, bitch.”

“What are you doing?!” Anne hissed

A group of girls at another table started giggling and recording Dan as the man got on one knee and set the guitar aside. “Anne, you’ve been bae for a long time, but I’ve never said it,” he pulled a box out of his pocket, “Make it official with me?” He opened it to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

Eddie held his hands up when Anne looked at him eyes wide. “I’m as surprised as you,” he said honestly, “But if you don’t take him up on it, I will,” he winked.

“You’re both jerks!” She said loudly, grabbing the ring and pulling Dan into a tight hug. She made a muffled noise and Dan stood, holding her tightly. “She said yes! Thank you, internet!”

“Congrats man,” Eddie patted him on the shoulder amidst the clapping around them. “You pulled that off well.”

Dan set Anne down and grinned at him. “Thanks, you know I was sure I was going to mess up somewhere like someone was going to steal this guitar or something.”

“It’s my guitar,” a barista said, coming out from behind the counter to take the guitar back.

“Well, my point still stands, that would have sucked, but thank you for lending it to me!” Dan said.

Later on as Eddie bid the couple farwell and headed home, Venom stirred.  **I was under the impression I understood your species, but today has proven me wrong, you losers are have no guidelines for your mating practices.**

Eddie grinned as he weaved through traffic. “I’m bonded to an alien symbiote complaining about people parroting memes. Honestly, I’ll take guideless marriage proposals any day.” He said, turning into the alley to park.

Venom was silent for a moment before slyly asking,  **Eddie, will you be bae?**

Eddie accidentally drove into the side of a dumpster in response.


End file.
